mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
