He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
