BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
