They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was confusing and full of hummus
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
