I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Pants are for mortals
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