I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
