it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
