part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
