I want to walk on stilts...naked
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
did i just pee glitter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize