I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
