Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
