Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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