He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
