Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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