Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
