this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
