4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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