yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
