is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
