Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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