did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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