i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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