Yo dont text me then not text me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
