I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How external is "for external use only"?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
