Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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