Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize