Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
