she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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