The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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