Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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