just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
