everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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