i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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