i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
