there was a trapeze. enough said
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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