Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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