From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
