Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize