I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
