I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
