There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
where am i from again
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
