Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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