It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize