nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
PANTIES FOUND
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