Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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