You kept calling me your small dog last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize