Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do vagina's smell?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
