Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she told me i tasted like america
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
