She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
