hotel room ftw
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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