Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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