dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
