My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
