the condom got lost in my hair
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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