and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
