No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
