Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
