Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
